In with a splash!

Chocolate, wine and children..I had all 3 in vast quantities at the weekend so now seemed as propitious a time as ever to introduce myself to all you lovely people. I've been watching you all from afar, marvelling at your wit and powerful observations and wondered if I dare to join in...

It was elder son's birthday party, held at the local water park and the group of eight boys tumbled in the water like a bag of ferrets overdosing on e-numbers. The big flumes looked so much fun and there was much screaming.... but despite that, I did insist on donning swimsuit and joining the children. It was then I wish I'd paid more attention to my fake tan. Stripes are fine in their place: on tabby cats, sergeants and Alan Shearer but not on my milk bottle pins.

Back home, and while the boys were running riot in the garden, I battled with a couple of pounds of chocolate, finally getting it to melt to the right consistency for the chocolate fountain. Achieving that perfect brown silky curtain of lusciousness is extremely gratifying and satisfies a deep seated urge for order and harmony, conditions so rarely accomplished here at Patsy's patch. The boys loved it and I even managed to make it healthier by offering bananas, apples and strawberries to dunk in the glorious gloop.

By way of apology for filling up their little treasures with sugar, I offered parents a glass or two of the perfectly chilled Sauvignon Blanc. Seemed churlish not to join them!

Replete with chocolate, wine and children the perfect day ended with the perfect comment of all. "Thanks Mum that was the best birthday ever!" Birthday Boy said with a kiss.
Exit mother , sobbing....